Signpostings

Relationships in a World of Individualism

  • rWorld

    The rWorld is about more than Dale Kuehne's book Sex and the iWorld.
    The rWorld is a New England based, non-profit (in formation), that is composed of a growing number of people and organizations from many faith and ideological backgrounds worldwide. We believe that much of the fulfillment for which women and men are looking can be found by enhancing the quality of our relationships. While the individual freedom we enjoy in the West is a gift, the love and intimacy for which humans yearn will not be found in self-serving materialism or hedonism, but in a variety of healthy relationships.

    Contact us if you'd like get involved:
    scr.im/rwld

  • Dale Kuehne

    Sex & the iWorld

    Professor of Politics and The Richard L. Bready Chair for Ethics, Economics, and the Common Good at Saint Anselm College, Manchester, NH.

    In this blog I'm highlighting signposts of the world in which we presently reside as a means of helping promote a civil, and meaningful dialogue about what kind of world in which we wish to live. I am particularly interested in exploring how might we reconcile the individual good and the common good, and where reconciliation isn’t possible, which should take precedence and why.

    I also blog at Sharewik.com

    [Content Caution]

Archive for the ‘music’ Category

A Courageous Look at Dating in the Rear-View Mirror

Posted by Dale Kuehne on July 24, 2017

Twenty years ago then 20 year-old Josh Harris published I Kissed Dating Goodbye and changed the way a generation of Christian young people looked at dating.

https://www.amazon.com/Kissed-Dating-Goodbye-Joshua-Harris/dp/1590521358/ref=dp_ob_title_bk

With the wisdom of hindsight and a sense of deep misgiving he is taking another look at the subject. Reconsidering something as culturally sensitive as courtship is a thankless task. He has only just begun to weather the criticism of “supporters” who are threatened by ongoing thoughtfulness, as well as the “I told you so’s” from his always detractors. Josh deserves thanks for writing the book 20 years ago as well as his willingness to take a deeper look today. Twenty-years ago Josh had the fortitude to tell Christian “leaders” that their teaching on courtship and marriage had, like the Emperor, no clothes. His book was a good-faith effort to provide a Christian way to consider courtship when the adults could offer them nothing other than the “Christianized” secular courting. models of the 50’s or the 60’s. If there is anyone to blame for the shortcomings of his book it belongs to us adult and Christian leaders of the 1990’s. We gave Josh and his generation nothing to challenge the secular relational paradigms of the day. That Josh and his contemporaries were able then and now to find a better, albeit imperfect, way is a testimony their intellect and faith.

If anyone deserves stones when it comes to dating it is my generation. Josh and this endeavor deserve our undivided attention.

http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2017/july-web-only/can-josh-harris-kiss-his-book-goodbye.html?utm_source=ctdirect-html&utm_medium=Newsletter&utm_term=9458236&utm_content=525728784&utm_campaign=email

Please join me in supporting this Kickstarter project. They only have days to reach their goal. If you bought his book show your thanks by underwriting the answer.

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/503058467/i-survived-i-kissed-dating-goodbye/description

I was so high I did not recognize
The fire burning in her eyes
The chaos that controlled my mind
Whispered “Goodbye”, she got on a plane
Never to return again
But always in my heart

This love has taken its toll on me
She said “Goodbye” too many times before
And her heart is breaking in front of me
And I have no choice ’cause I won’t say goodbye anymore

I tried my best to feed her appetite
Keep her coming every night
So hard to keep her satisfied
Kept playing love like it was just a game
Pretending to feel the same
Then turn around and leave again,
But I know…

This love has taken its toll on me
She said “Goodbye” too many times before
And her heart is breaking in front of me
And I have no choice ’cause I won’t say goodbye anymore

I’ll fix these broken things
Repair your broken wings
And make sure everything’s alright
My pressure on your hips
Sinking my fingertips
Into every inch of you
‘Cause I know that’s what you want me to do

This love has taken its toll on me
She said “Goodbye” too many times before
And her heart is breaking in front of me
And I have no choice ’cause I won’t say goodbye anymore

This love has taken its toll on me
She said “Goodbye” too many times before
And my heart is breaking in front of me
She said “Goodbye” too many times before

This love has taken its toll on me
She said “Goodbye” too many times before
And her heart is breaking in front of me
And I have no choice ’cause I won’t say goodbye anymore…

This Love by Maroon 5 from Songs About Jane (2002)

Photo Above: Josh, Director/Producer Jessica Van Der Wyngaard, and Me

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Posted in iWorld, music, Uncategorized | Tagged: , | Leave a Comment »

When it Comes to Marriage: How Many is “Two” Many?

Posted by Dale Kuehne on July 12, 2017

Several years ago when I expressed concern with the political and ecclesiastical redefinition of marriage, I had many people tell me that so long as marriage remained a committed relationship between two people it was on solid ground. When I asked whether there was a line they would not cross on the redefinition of marriage, many drew the line at “two.” Polygyny, in its many variations, was a bridge too far.

Where are you now?

https://www.thesun.co.uk/living/3590221/luckiest-man-alive-who-lives-with-two-girlfriends-is-having-a-baby-with-one-and-the-trio-still-share-a-super-king-size-bed/

One is the loneliest number that you’ll ever do
Two can be as bad as one
It’s the loneliest number since the number one

No is the saddest experience you’ll ever know
Yes, it’s the saddest experience you’ll ever know

‘Cause one is the loneliest number that you’ll ever do
One is the loneliest number, whoa-oh, worse than two

It’s just no good anymore since you went away
Now I spend my time just making rhymes of yesterday

One is the loneliest number
One is the loneliest number
One is the loneliest number that you’ll ever do

One by Harry Nilsson from Aeriel Ballet (1968)

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Cities of the Future: Loneliness as a Way of Life

Posted by Dale Kuehne on June 29, 2017

Individualism and Freedom are liberalism’s gift to the world. Little did the liberal philosophers know that it would enable us to gain the world at the cost of our soul.

http://theweek.com/articles/689527/hightech-cities-future-utterly-lonely

There’s somebody waiting alone in the street
For someone to walk up and greet

Here you are all alone in the city
Where’s the one that you took to your side
Lonely faces will stare through your eyes in the night
And they’ll say – woman sweet woman please come home with me
You’re shining and willing and free
But your love it’s a common occurence
Not like love that I feel in my heart
Still you know that may be what I need

Is someone to lay down beside me
And even though it’s not real
Just someone to lay down beside me
You’re the story of my life

Well morning is breaking the street lights are off
The sun will soon share all the cost
Of a world that can be sort of heartless
Not like love that you feel in our heart
Still you know that may be all you get

Someone to Lay Down Beside Me by Karla Bonoff from self-titled album (1977)

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Wellbeing as Opposed to Wealth

Posted by Dale Kuehne on June 28, 2017

Researchers from the The London School of Economics examine survey data from 4 countries and 200,00 people and find that what matters to human flourishing is not wealth but relational wellbeing.

http://voxeu.org/article/origins-happiness

Cool night gave my truth for a lie
Will you be here when I try
I’m not set cannot do it yet
Will you be here when I try
Our wealth breeds emptiness
Another day to compress

My lips are dry you gave me drugs to try
Hold me when I die
The sky has frozen to a wall
We die we all

Wealth by Katatonia from Viva Emptiness (2003)

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70 Million Children Left Behind (and Counting)

Posted by Dale Kuehne on June 22, 2017

The Economist draws our attention to the 70 million Chinese children who are the collateral damage of globalization. How long can the global elites (on both the right and the left) feign surprise when voters reject capitalism without a conscience?

http://www.economist.com/news/leaders/21674715-there-are-70m-reasons-ease-chinas-curbs-internal-migration-pity-children

Monday’s child is fair of face
Tuesday’s child is full of grace
Wednesday’s child is full of woe
Thursday’s child has far to go
Friday’s child is kind and giving
Saturday’s child works hard for a living
But the child that was born on the Sabbath Day
Is blithe and bonny and good and gay

I was born on a Wednesday
I don’t know about you
I always wanted to meet Sunday’s child
and tell her what to do

‘Cause I was so angry
And, oh, how I cried
Why, oh, why do I have to be
Wednesday’s child?

Thought I could change the story
Didn’t like how the way it looked
So I took my pencil
and I rewrote that whole storybook

‘Cause I was so angry
and, oh, how I cried
Why, oh, why do I have to be
Wednesday’s child?

If I could write music
I’d rewrite all the songs
that you hear on the radio
All the sad songs
They’re about me

If I could write Latin
I’d rewrite the way
All the Latin-based languages
Are spoken, all the sad words
They’re about me

If I could write one song
It wouldn’t be this one
This one’s too sad
Or maybe it’s just bad

I’m so angry
and, oh, how I cried
Why, oh, why do I have to be
Wednesday’s child?

Monday’s child is fair of face (narcissist)
Tuesday’s child is full of grace (a little stiff)
Wednesday’s child is full of woe (whatever)
Thursday’s child has far to go (get out)
Friday’s child is kind and giving (sucker)
Saturday’s child works hard for a living (overachiever)
But the child that was born on the Sabbath Day
Is blithe and bonny and good and gay

Wednesday’s Child by Vermillion Lies from What’s in the Box (2008)

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The Christian Politician: The New Oxymoron

Posted by Dale Kuehne on June 21, 2017

UK Liberal-Democratic Party Leader Tim Farron steps away from politics on account of his faith.

He won’t be the last.

http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-politics-40281300

People of america
I bring you a great army
To preserve peace
In our empire
Throw them to the lions
Darling, let us go to the banouet hall…
There will be a great feast tonight!
Who are these christians?
What is this strange religion?

I’ ve heard it said they turn the other cheek
Ha ha ha ha
Throw them to the lions
Throw them to the lions
Throw them to the lions

Thumbs down
10 pieces of gold for every man
Hail caesar hail caesar
Grapes from sicily
Silks from asia minor
All the tea in china

Throw them to the lions
Throw them to the lions
Throw them to the lions
Who are these christians?
Turn the other cheek…
Ha ha ha ha ha

Two thumbs down
The christians are restless
Why not let them worship their god?
No one believes in the old gods
How tiresome…attending the rituals
Paying lip service to the portents
Burning incense at their shrine
No one believes in the old gods

Throw them to the lions
Throw them to the lions
Throw them to the lions
Hahahahahaha

The roman empire the glory of rome
Hail all hail
Caesar…caesar…beware beware the ides of march
Who is this man?
Caesar…he is but a soothsayer…he is old
And his brain is addled… pay him no mind!
Throw him to the lions! ha ha ha ha ha ha
Hail caesar! emperor of rome hail caesar!
Caesar…caesar…beware the ides of march
Eh?! who is this man?
Caesar…he is but an old soothsayer…addled in his brain
Pay him no mind

Throw him to the lions! ha ha ha ha
Throw him to the lions!

No one believes in the old gods…
The empire is tired…caesar will rest now
We depart for my chambers
Come darling
“yes caesar”
Caesar will rest now
Hail rome hail caesar hail
Put him in the fiery pit
Ha ha ha ha!

Caesar by Iggy Pop from American Caesar (1993)

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Love, Lust, and Loneliness: Gazing into the World of 16-19 Year Old Men

Posted by Dale Kuehne on June 20, 2017

This extensive UK study provides a prescient glimpse into the relational hopes and dreams of 16-19 year-old men. They are indeed battle scarred knights.

https://fastn.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/LLL-Report-_web.pdf

Hope the wound heals but it never does
That’s cause you’re at war with love
You’re at war with love, yeah

These battle scars don’t look like they’re fading
Don’t look like they’re ever going away
They ain’t never gonna change
These battle…

Never let a wound ruin me
But I feel like ruin’s wooing me
Arrow holes, they never close from Cupid on a shooting spree
Feeling stupid cause I know it ain’t no you and me
But when you’re trying to beat the odds up
Been trying to keep your nods up
And you know that you should know
And let her go
But the fear of the unknown
Hold another lover strong
Sends you back into the zone
With no Tom Hanks to bring you home
A lover not a fighter
On the front line with a poem
Trying to write yourself a rifle
Maybe sharpen up a stone
To fight the tanks and drones of you being alone

I wish I never looked, I wish I never touched
I wish that I could stop loving you so much
Cause I’m the only one that’s trying to keep us together
When all of the signs say that I should forget her
I wish you weren’t the best, the best I ever had
I wish that the good outweighed the bad
Cause it’ll never be over (never be over) until you tell me it’s over

These battle scars don’t look like they’re fading
Don’t look like they’re ever going away
They ain’t never gonna change
These battle scars don’t look like they’re fading
Don’t look like they’re ever going away
They ain’t never gonna change
These battle…

(Then just leave then)
You shouldn’t have but you said it
(And I hope you never come back)
It shouldn’t have happened but you let it
Now you’re down on the ground screaming medic
The only thing that comes is the post-traumatic stresses
Shields, body armors and vests don’t properly work
That’s why you’re in a locker full of hurt
The enemy within and all the fires from your friends
The best medicine’s to probably just let it win

I wish I couldn’t feel, I wish I couldn’t love
I wish that I could stop cause it hurts so much
And I’m the only one that’s trying to keep us together
When all of the signs say that I should forget her
I wish you weren’t the best, the best I ever had
I wish that the good outweighed the bad
Cause it’ll never be over, until you tell me it’s over

These battle scars don’t look like they’re fading
Don’t look like they’re ever going away
They ain’t never gonna change
These battle scars don’t look like they’re fading
Don’t look like they’re ever going away
They ain’t never gonna change
These battle…

Cause you set me on fire
I’ve never felt so alive, yeah

No, hoping wounds heal, but it never does
That’s because you’re at war with love

And I’m at the point of breaking
And it’s impossible to shake it (yeah)

See, you hoped the wound heals, but it never does
That’s cause you’re at war with love
Hope it heals, but it never does
That’s cause you’re at war with love!

These battle scars don’t look like they’re fading
Don’t look like they’re ever going away
I ain’t ever gonna change
These battle scars don’t look like they’re fading
Don’t look like they’re ever going away
They ain’t never gonna change
These battle scars don’t look like they’re fading
Don’t look like they’re ever going away
I ain’t never gonna change
These battle…

Battle Scars by Guy Sebastian from Armageddon (2012)

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Evangelicals and the 2016 Election: Walking Backwards Down the Stairs Trying to Get Higher

Posted by Dale Kuehne on June 19, 2017

My op-ed on the role of Religion in the 2016 Presidential Election. Published by Ethos: The Centre of Christianity and Society (Australia)

http://www.ethos.org.au/site/Ethos/filesystem/documents/In-depth/Evangelicals-and-Trump-Keuhne.pdf

Walking backwards down the stairs
Trying to get higher
How can I get anywhere
Walking backwards down the stairs

Watching life elude me
Slipping through my grasp
Oh I know the truth at last
But to reach the top I’ve
Got to stop from

Walking backwards down the stairs
Trying to get higher
How can i get anywhere
Walking backwards down the stairs

People stop to watch me
Wonder what I’m doing
What direction I’m pursuing
I pretend I’m free
But actually I’m

Walking backwards down the stairs
Trying to get higher
How can I get anywhere
Walking backwards down the stairs

Walking Backwards Down the Stairs by Larry Norman from Upon this Rock (1969)

Posted in Campaign 2016, iWorld, music | Tagged: , , , | 1 Comment »

Solving the World’s Problems … with Beer

Posted by Dale Kuehne on April 28, 2017

Heineken conducts an experiment in changing the world … one conversation at a time.

I like beer ’cause it is good
I drink beer because I should
If there was a song to sing
I sing it and beer you bring

I drink beer when I am sad
‘Cause the beer, it makes me glad
Now there’s nothing left to say
So let’s go drink beer

Beer by Psychostick from We Couldn’t Think of a Title (2003)

Posted in Health and Wellness, iWorld, music | Tagged: , , | Leave a Comment »

iRomance: An App for That

Posted by Dale Kuehne on April 12, 2017

Japanese women have found an app for romance that is even better than the real thing.

http://www.cnn.com/2016/11/21/asia/romance-gaming-japan/index.html

Give me one more chance
And you’ll be satisfied
Give me two more chances
You won’t be denied

Well my heart is where it’s always been
My head is somewhere in between
Give me one more chance
Let me be your lover tonight

You’re the real thing
Yeah the real thing
You’re the real thing
Even better than the real thing

Give me one last chance
And I’m gonna make you sing
Give me half a chance
To ride on the waves that you bring

You’re honey child to a swarm of bees
Gonna blow right through you like a breeze
Give me one last dance
We’ll slide down the surface of things

You’re the real thing
Yeah the real thing
You’re the real thing
Even better than the real thing

We’re free to fly the crimson sky
The sun won’t melt our wings tonight

Oh now
Here she comes

Take me higher
Take me higher
You take me higher?
You take me higher?

You’re the real thing
Yeah the real thing
You’re the real thing

Even better than the real thing
Even better than the real thing
Even better than the real thing

Even Better than the Real Thing by U2 from Achtung Baby (1991)

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