Signpostings

Relationships in a World of Individualism

  • rWorld

    The rWorld is about more than Dale Kuehne's book Sex and the iWorld.
    The rWorld is a New England based, non-profit (in formation), that is composed of a growing number of people and organizations from many faith and ideological backgrounds worldwide. We believe that much of the fulfillment for which women and men are looking can be found by enhancing the quality of our relationships. While the individual freedom we enjoy in the West is a gift, the love and intimacy for which humans yearn will not be found in self-serving materialism or hedonism, but in a variety of healthy relationships.

    Contact us if you'd like get involved:
    scr.im/rwld

  • Dale Kuehne

    Sex & the iWorld

    Professor of Politics and The Richard L. Bready Chair for Ethics, Economics, and the Common Good at Saint Anselm College, Manchester, NH.

    In this blog I'm highlighting signposts of the world in which we presently reside as a means of helping promote a civil, and meaningful dialogue about what kind of world in which we wish to live. I am particularly interested in exploring how might we reconcile the individual good and the common good, and where reconciliation isn’t possible, which should take precedence and why.

    I also blog at Sharewik.com

    [Content Caution]

The Audacity of rHope

Posted by dalekuehne on November 23, 2010

Now that I have recovered from hard drive meltdown, I am ready to continue to consider another building block of the rWorld.

rHope.

We live in a nation that is having a crisis of relational hope. I could draw on all sort of statistics that would demonstrate the relational hemorrhaging that the US is undergoing. The most salient is that 45% of our children are born outside of marriage, and that if the current trends continue a majority of Americans will never marry.

The relational hemorrhaging is bad, but the loss of hope reflected in the marriage statistic is clear. It’s not surprising. Why would the children of the “me” generation look on marriage any differently. Marriage today requires greater faith than ever, because the number of healthy marriage is on the decline. We live as if the iWorld has hypnotized us to a place where we consider healthy mature committed relationships are the stuff of fairy tales.

The Church and politicians have it wrong in so far as they approach the crisis by calling us back to the marriage and family of the tWorld; as if we could recover the world of the Cleaver family (Leave it to Beaver). In doing this they merely make people get in touch with their relational pain and sense of failure. There is little hope we can recover what we have lost, given the way we lost it. If there was a way to go back someone would certainly have found it by now.

Whether or not we like the messages given to us by Hollywood, the reason why we watch the shows we do, is because we are looking for a replacement for traditional family. Not out of spite, but because of a dearth of hope.

The primary vision of the rWorld is to kindle rHope. The rWorld can only be constructed with rHope. The rWorld is a forward looking, progressive movement that not only raises hope, but provides good reasons to hope, as well as concrete things that can be done to help all of us develop healthy relationships. We don’t focus on marriage and family at the outset. Not because they are not an important aspect of the rWorld, but because rHope does not start there. The first step forward is to rekindle rHope by helping individuals experience healthy relating in any relationship. Once this is accomplished, then we can explore helping people hope for marriage and family again.

Our nation needs the Audacity of rHope.

Peter Gabriel sings of rHope In Your Eyes

love I get so lost, sometimes
days pass and this emptiness fills my heart
when I want to run away
I drive off in my car
but whichever way I choose
I come back to the place you are

all my instincts, they return
and the grand facade, so soon will burn
without a noise, without my pride
I reach out from the inside

in your eyes
the light the heat
in your eyes
I am complete
in your eyes
I see the doorway to a thousand churches
in your eyes
the resolution of all the fruitless searches
in your eyes
I see the light and the heat
in your eyes
oh, I want to be that complete
I want to touch the light
the heat I see in your eyes

love, I don’t like to see so much pain
so much wasted and this moment keeps slipping away
I get so tired of working so hard for our survival
I look to the time with you to keep me awake and alive

and all my instincts, they return
and the grand facade, so soon will burn
without a noise, without my pride
I reach out from the inside

in your eyes
the light the heat
in your eyes
I am complete
in your eyes
I see the doorway to a thousand churches
in your eyes
the resolution of all the fruitless searches
in your eyes
I see the light and the heat
in your eyes
oh, I want to be that complete
I want to touch the light,
the heat I see in your eyes
in your eyes in your eyes
in your eyes in your eyes
in your eyes in your eyes

In Your Eyes by Peter Gabriel from So (1986)

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