Relationships in a World of Individualism

  • rWorld

    The rWorld is about more than Dale Kuehne's book Sex and the iWorld.
    The rWorld is a New England based, non-profit (in formation), that is composed of a growing number of people and organizations from many faith and ideological backgrounds worldwide. We believe that much of the fulfillment for which women and men are looking can be found by enhancing the quality of our relationships. While the individual freedom we enjoy in the West is a gift, the love and intimacy for which humans yearn will not be found in self-serving materialism or hedonism, but in a variety of healthy relationships.

    Contact us if you'd like get involved:

  • Dale Kuehne

    Sex & the iWorld

    Professor of Politics and The Richard L. Bready Chair for Ethics, Economics, and the Common Good at Saint Anselm College, Manchester, NH.

    In this blog I'm highlighting signposts of the world in which we presently reside as a means of helping promote a civil, and meaningful dialogue about what kind of world in which we wish to live. I am particularly interested in exploring how might we reconcile the individual good and the common good, and where reconciliation isn’t possible, which should take precedence and why.

    I also blog at

    [Content Caution]

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Hand in Hands

Posted by Dale Kuehne on July 23, 2010

Updating research on same-sex relationships in San Francisco.

If marriage and monogamy don’t go hand in hand, then what is marriage?


2 Responses to “Hand in Hands”

  1. Lauren Fithian said

    To me, marriage should be monogamous, BUT, a very quick google search produces plenty of references which support the following: Approximately 50 percent of married women and 60 percent of married men will have an extra-marital affair at some point during their marriage. Also–I don’t have time to research it at the moment, but I would bet we can find statistics for heterosexual, negotiated OPEN marriage. Also–what about so-called “swinging.” Why the focus only on gay sexual behavior within marriage? And let’s look for the articles/satistics about how many gay married people DO have and desire monogamous relationships.

  2. Ann F-R said

    Lauren, I’m not sure where you harvested those statistics but they are not fully supported with the statistical resources that I found. That research included the Wikipedia article on infidelity, which also reported significant statistical discrepancies between male & female fidelity, and among the gay population.

    If defending the choices of people to make whatever choices they are “free” to make is the goal, then that’s the track you’re on.

    However, it seems wiser, in my opinion, to aim toward a frank discussion of what the reality reflects to be healthier life choices, despite living w/in a context of those who assert that any & all sexual “freedom” is “healthy”. Truthful inquiry will courageously examine the consequences and effects of said freedom, on individual men and women, communities, families, children, and our future society. Does that “freedom” produce whole & loving people in societies or does it wound people and create ever-spreading ripples of dysfunctional relationships and interactions?

    I don’t know about you, but I know that I want to choose paths that will reap love & health in my life, in the lives of my family & loved ones, and for the good of my community. I do not want to justify whatever feels good to me by rationalizing that others do it, too. That type of self-serving justification, in my opinion, is unloving and ultimately destructive of self and others.

    Individual “freedom” or “rights” will certainly violate the “rights” of others and will certainly damage community, if we care more about asserting ourselves than about building up & serving others. Individual actions have communal repercussions.

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