Why is it so Hard to See Myself in the Mirror?

Here is my latest sharewik.com blog where I ponder why it’s so hard to see myself in a mirror.

http://www.sharewik.com/blogs/item/what-you-can’t-see-in-the-mirror

[Lil Wayne:]
With everything happening today
You don’t know whether you’re coming or going
But you think that you’re on your way
Life lined up on the mirror don’t blow it
Look at me when I’m talking to you
You looking at me but I’m looking through you
I see the blood in your eyes
I see the love in disguise
I see the pain hidden in your pride
I see you’re not satisfied
And I don’t see nobody else
I see myself I’m looking at the

[Bruno Mars:]
Mirror on the wall, here we are again
Through my rise and fall
You’ve been my only friend
You told me that they can understand the man I am
So why are we here talkin’ to each other again?

[Lil Wayne:]
Uh, I see the truth in your lies
I see nobody by your side
But I’m with you when you are all alone
And you correct me when I’m looking wrong
I see the guilt beneath the shame
I see your soul through your window pain
I see the scars that remain
I see you Wayne, I’m looking at the…

[Bruno Mars:]
Mirror on the wall, here we are again ([Wayne:] Yeah)
Through my rise and fall ([Wayne:] Uh-Huh)
You’ve been my only friend ([Wayne:] my only friend)
You told me that they can understand the man I am ([Wayne:] they can understand)
So why are we here ([Wayne:] misunderstood) talkin’ to each other again?

[Lil Wayne:]
Looking at me now I can see my past
Damn I look just like my fucking dad
Light it up, that’s smoke in mirrors
I even look good in the broken mirror
I see my momma smile that’s a blessing
I see the change, I see the message
And no message could’ve been any clearer
So I’m startin’ with the man in the…

[Bruno Mars:]
Mirror on the wall,

[Lil Wayne:]
MJ taught me that.

[Bruno Mars:]
Here we are again
Through my rise and fall
You’ve been my only friend

[Lil Wayne:]
Take em to Mars man

[Bruno Mars:]
You told me that they can understand the man I am
So why are we talkin’ to each other again?

[Lil Wayne:]
Uh…

Mirror on the wall, here we are again ([Wayne:] yeah)
Through my rise and fall
You’ve been my only friend ([Wayne:] Any questions?)
You told me that they can ([Wayne:] I come to you) understand the man I am ([Wayne:] You always have the answer)
So why are we here talkin’ to each other again?

[Bruno Mars:]
Mirror on the wall.

[Wayne:]
A.B.P.
Looks like I did take em’ to Mars this time

[Bruno Mars:]
(So why are we talking to each other again?)

Mirror by Lil Wayne from deluxe edition of Lil Wayne’s Tha Carter IV (2011)

Prison Inmates and the Healing of my Soul

Every month my best night is the Saturday night I spend at the NH State Prison for Men in Concord, NH. I write about it here at sharewik.com

http://www.sharewik.com/blogs/item/live-and-let-die

When you were young and your heart was an open book
You used to say live and let live
(You know you did, you know you did, you know you did)
But in this ever changing world in which we live
Makes you give in and cry.

Live and let die.

Live and Let Die by Paul and Linda McCartney (1973)

Both Sides Now: Friends and Benefits

Terrell Clemmons reflects on living in an iSex world.
http://www.salvomag.com/new/articles/salvo19/19clemmons.php

I’ve looked at love from both sides now
From give and take, and still somehow
It’s love’s illusions I recall
I really don’t know love at all

Tears and fears and feeling proud
To say “I love you” right out loud
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds
I’ve looked at life that way

But now old friends are acting strange
They shake their heads, they say I’ve changed
Well something’s lost, but something’s gained
In living every day

I’ve looked at life from both sides now
From win and lose and still somehow
It’s life’s illusions I recall
I really don’t know life at all

I’ve looked at life from both sides now
From up and down, and still somehow
It’s life’s illusions I recall
I really don’t know life at all

Both Sides Now by Joni Mitchell from Clouds (1969)

Confessions of a Sex Addict

For the guy who has everything, except what he craves.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-16469222

There’s this strange feeling invading me in all my being
It prevents me from all kind of thoughts
Without humanity
Inaccessible things torture me, gnaw my entrails

I am slave to this unknown entity
A burning demon watching me in each place I can go
An external part makes my life unbearable
My last moments of peace are when I see it bleed
As I pierce it through an through
My reason is drowning in ain
Absence of delight

There’s this strange feeling invading me in all my being
It prevents me from all kind of thoughts
Without humanity, inaccessible things torture me, gnaw my entrails
Disharmonic nature between human being and animal kingdom

Sex-addicted
Blind is the soul as you rise in bestiality
Psychotic world ruled by twisted sexuality
Nowhere to hide if you need to escape
I mutilate

As the blood runs from the sores, I feel guilty
The days are gone, only stay the scars of my wrath
Hidden in silence, followed by its presence
Can’t be delivered from my own-existence
Monomaniac

Tomorrow the time will come and the wounds will be closed
The constant persecutions will never end no more
Once again I won’t be alone and will lose the control
And you’ll take the entire place in me, my dark tormentor

Sex-Addict by Benighted from Identisick (2006)

Mothers of the Disappeared

Martin Luther King challenged us to judge ourselves by the content of our character. What does it say about America that a disproportionate number of missing children are black?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2088428/The-shocking–forgotten–toll-missing-black-women-U-S.html

Midnight, our sons and daughters
Were cut down and taken from us.
Hear their heartbeat
We hear their heartbeat.

In the wind we hear their laughter
In the rain we see their tears.
Hear their heartbeat, we hear their heartbeat.

Night hangs like a prisoner
Stretched over black and blue.
Hear their heartbeats
We hear their heartbeats.

In the trees our sons stand naked
Through the walls our daughter cry
See their tears in the rainfall.

Mothers of the Disappeared by U2 from Joshua Tree (1987)

Sipping champagne and talking about love and death with Demi Moore

Here is a link to my latest sharewik blog.

(Signpostings followers will recognize it is refined version of an earlier post.)

http://www.sharewik.com/blogs/item/sipping-champagne-and-talking-about-love-and-death-with-demi-moore

There’s somebody waiting alone in the street
For someone to walk up and greet

Here you are all alone in the city
Where’s the one that you took to your side
Lonely faces will stare through your eyes in the night
And they’ll say – woman sweet woman please come home with me
You’re shining and willing and free
But your love it’s a common occurence
Not like love that I feel in my heart
Still you know that may be what I need

Is someone to lay down beside me
And even though it’s not real
Just someone to lay down beside me
You’re the story of my life

Someone to Lay Down Beside by Karla Bonoff from Karla Bonoff (1977)

New Hampshire Primary 2012: Over and Out

My daughter is on this cruise ship. I am not. But until next week I am going to pretend.

Until then ….

1977
Nibblin on sponge cake
Watchin the sun bake
All of those tourists covered with oil
Strummin my six-string
On my front porch swing
Smell those shrimp they’re beginnin to boil

Margaritaville by Jimmy Buffett from Changes in Latitude, Changes in Attitude (1977)

New Hampshire Primary 2012: Post-Mortem

The day after the New Hampshire Primary I feel like akin to a prostitute. For months everyone was wanted me, and told me how important and special I am. And today, the studio is empty, it will shortly be torn down, and the campaigns and media are romancing my counterparts in South Carolina.

Still, being able to have a “front row seat on America’s most riveting political theater” (Washington Post) is always a thrill and an unforgettable experience.

While yesterday the campaigns paid more attention to polls and pundits than voters (See my Pre-Mortem), the voters of New Hampshire came out in record numbers. Yesterday was the largest turnout for a Republican primary in New Hampshire history.

Mitt Romney and Ron Paul were the stories. Romney is the first Republican ever to win both the Iowa caucus and the New Hampshire primary. Meanwhile Ron Paul made his second consecutive strong showing.

My expectation is that Romney will easily win the Republican nomination. Not because voters of other states will rubber stamp what we have done, but now the process becomes grounded in money. Gingrich has enough money to try to bring Romney down, but no one besides Romney has the money to finance campaigns in the states to come and there is scarcely time for the others to raise money. The process is too compressed.

Romney won NH fair and square. This is the first time in my 17 years that a candidate with the most money won the Republican primary, but he did not win because of his money. He never stopped running after his loss four years ago. He worked hard and earned his victory.

However, Ron Paul is the story moving forward. He is attracting voters from both the Tea Party and the Occupy movement. He is attracting the majority of young voters and those who earn less that $70,000 a year. He is the only authentic anti-war, anti-Wall Street candidate from either party.

He won’t win the Republican nomination, but his voters hold the key to victory in November. Were he to become a third party candidate, I think he has a shot of besting Ross Perot (1992, 1996) and becoming a real force in the 2012 general election. Unlike Perot, he has enough appeal to the Occupy movement that it is possible he will draw support away from Obama and not just Romney.

If he doesn’t run, will his voters stay away in November or vote, and if they vote, for whom? That is my question.

And that is the drama of democracy. No matter how much money Obama, Romney, or others have have there are things they cannot control.

I hope it stays that way.

Democracy Now: January 11, 2012

Below you can watch today’s edition of Democracy Now. I was interviewed in the last half of the show about the meaning of the results of last night’s New Hampshire Primary.

It’s coming through a hole in the air,
from those nights in Tiananmen Square.
It’s coming from the feel
that this ain’t exactly real,
or it’s real, but it ain’t exactly there.
From the wars against disorder,
from the sirens night and day,
from the fires of the homeless,
from the ashes of the gay:
Democracy is coming to the U.S.A.
It’s coming through a crack in the wall;
on a visionary flood of alcohol;
from the staggering account
of the Sermon on the Mount
which I don’t pretend to understand at all.
It’s coming from the silence
on the dock of the bay,
from the brave, the bold, the battered
heart of Chevrolet:
Democracy is coming to the U.S.A.

It’s coming from the sorrow in the street,
the holy places where the races meet;
from the homicidal bitchin’
that goes down in every kitchen
to determine who will serve and who will eat.
From the wells of disappointment
where the women kneel to pray
for the grace of God in the desert here
and the desert far away:
Democracy is coming to the U.S.A.

Sail on, sail on
O mighty Ship of State!
To the Shores of Need
Past the Reefs of Greed
Through the Squalls of Hate
Sail on, sail on, sail on, sail on.

It’s coming to America first,
the cradle of the best and of the worst.
It’s here they got the range
and the machinery for change
and it’s here they got the spiritual thirst.
It’s here the family’s broken
and it’s here the lonely say
that the heart has got to open
in a fundamental way:
Democracy is coming to the U.S.A.

It’s coming from the women and the men.
O baby, we’ll be making love again.
We’ll be going down so deep
the river’s going to weep,
and the mountain’s going to shout Amen!
It’s coming like the tidal flood
beneath the lunar sway,
imperial, mysterious,
in amorous array:
Democracy is coming to the U.S.A.

Sail on, sail on …

I’m sentimental, if you know what I mean
I love the country but I can’t stand the scene.
And I’m neither left or right
I’m just staying home tonight,
getting lost in that hopeless little screen.
But I’m stubborn as those garbage bags
that Time cannot decay,
I’m junk but I’m still holding up
this little wild bouquet:
Democracy is coming to the U.S.A.

Democracy by Leonard Cohen from The Future (1992)

New Hampshire Primary 2012 Pre-Mortum: The Candidates Presumed on Us

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This is a picture of the Ward 2 Polling Site in Manchester, NH at Noon today. On every other primary day it would be filled with supporters five deep holding signs and chanting for their candidates. Never before have I gone to vote with so little commitment from the campaigns.

Those who know me know that I am a passionate supporter of the New Hampshire Primary. I deplore a political system where only people with money can compete. I deeply appreciate the independence of the voter of New Hampshire. As I talk to voters today they displayed the thoughtfulness I’ve come to appreciate among NH voters.

But the campaigns presumed on us today. Save Ron Paul, and to a lesser degree Jon Huntsman, there is virtually no personally held signage anywhere I’ve been.

I grant Santorum had virtually no organization here. But there is enough of a culturally conservative base here that could have been mobilized. Newt? No excuse. How do you get the Union-Leader endorsement and not lay it all on the line? Romney? I am speechless. Perry? He gets a pass.

Is it the case that the campaigns allowed the polls to dictate their enthusiasm?

Is it the case the campaigns decided that it was only money and advertising that mattered?

Will the voters acquiesce?

If so this is a sad day for New Hampshire.

A sad day for America.

A sad day for the Republican party.

A sad day for democracy in the 21st Century.